Is It Possible To Heal From Being Codependent?
When you first think about being codependent on others, it may not seem as if it is a bad thing. After all, we all need to rely on others to some degree. While valuing independence is good, there is nothing wrong with needing to lean on someone else.
Within every friendship or relationship, technically, we are dependent on one another. It's human nature.
However, there is a time and place for codependency and sometimes these lines become blurred.
If you are codependent on someone else in your life, you may:
Be unable to make decisions without the input of someone else
You completely thrive on praise to feel a sense of worthiness
It feels as if you need the approval of others
Putting the needs and wants of others before your own. This creates a false sense of worth that you are only worthy if you are taking care of others.
These are just a few small ways that codependency can manifest itself.
If you think you may be too dependent on others for anything in your life, that doesn't mean you can change the course. Codependency develops through patterns and habits. So, of course, that means it can be reversed by switching gears a little. Here are some tips on how you can begin healing from codependency.
How To Heal From Codependency
Boundaries
Boundaries are one of the first steps to start this process. In a lot of cases, a codependent relationship, or friendship, begins because boundaries were not set. They are a necessary part of any healthy connection.
If you are putting someone else's needs before your own, it means that the healthy lines of connection between you two are not there. With no boundaries in place, you could be setting yourself up for things you don't even want to do.
In a bond that has no boundaries, it can feel very one-sided, leaving someone to feel unfulfilled and unbalanced. Small steps to do this are:
Telling others no
Don't take the blame for everything if it isn't your fault
Respect yourself enough to stand up for you
Know Who You Are
Our sense of worth is everything. It helps us feel confident in ourselves, the choices we make, and where we see our lives going. But if you are codependent, it's common to inherently struggle with your sense of worth.
Focusing on yourself, and not the needs of others, as a way to boost your confidence, is a great second step to take. There's much to be applauded for when someone is inherently not selfish. But, sometimes, that unselfishness ends up working against you.
A way to counteract this is to begin discovering who you truly are, outside of other people. We all get a little lost from ourselves, but that doesn't mean we can get back to the core of who we are.
Finding Healthier Ways To Be Dependent And Independent
There is nothing wrong with depending on others. It's only when we begin to be so codependent on others that we lose sight of ourselves. But, just like everything else in life, there needs to be a balance.
Finding ways to balance the needs of you and others can be challenging at first. Especially when you aren't even sure where to begin.
As a licensed therapist, I know how challenging it can be to find this balance. But, with codependency therapy, you can learn to bring balance back into your relationships or friendships.
Reach out to me so I can help you forge new patterns so that you can have healthier and stronger connections with other people.
