How to Be Emotionally Vulnerable but Still Maintain Boundaries
Vulnerability and boundaries. When you think of these two words, you may think they’re complete opposites.
Vulnerability may have been something that you were told to avoid when you were younger. If you were hurt, you were supposed to “suck it up,” “grow up,” or “get over it.”
On the other hand, boundaries may seem like harsh asks. A line in the sand to separate your wants and needs from everyone else’s.
In reality, vulnerability and boundaries are both really healthy, especially when used together. They both can mutually benefit the relationships you hold in your life. In fact, you can’t really have vulnerability without boundaries.
Here's how to be emotionally vulnerable but still maintain boundaries.
Talk About Your Feelings
Get a little more comfortable with being uncomfortable. You know what they say about your comfort zone and growth. A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there. Talking about your feelings and thoughts is a completely okay and normal thing to do. In fact, it's actually encouraged.
You don't have to feel like you have to hide your true feelings and thoughts, no matter what you were led to believe. By being a little vulnerable with those that you value and trust, you're most likely to feel understood and heard throughout your communications. Getting a little more open about talking about your thoughts and feelings can help you implement some boundaries as well. When you start to share your thoughts and feelings, you are making sure your expectations, wants, and needs are clear.
Connection Is a Basic Human Need
The sense of connection between humans can be as much of a basic human need as food, shelter, and water. To build deeper connections, you have to learn how to be a little vulnerable. In today's world, vulnerability is shared face-to-face and even digitally with the help of computers, laptops, cell phones, text messages, and social media.
Being vulnerable can help to build stronger connections. That being said, it can also leave you open to criticism and negativity, especially in the digital world. It's important to set boundaries when it comes to sharing. You have to make sure that you're meeting your basic needs but you're not putting yourself in a negative, traumatic, or unsafe position.
Set Clear Expectations
When you communicate openly and honestly about any expectations you have, it can help to make sure everyone is on the same page. This can be said in all of your relationships, personally and professionally. Communicating your expectations will ensure that nothing is missed and that no assuming needs to happen.
Being vulnerable while maintaining boundaries can help to influence your relationships in more positive ways. You can set expectations or the following healthy boundaries:
Emotional boundaries
Financial boundaries
Material boundaries
Non-negotiable boundaries
Physical boundaries
Religious boundaries
Sexual boundaries
Spiritual boundaries
Time boundaries
Next Steps
Instead of actively trying to avoid showing vulnerability or thinking it's a sign of an unhealthy relationship to initiate boundaries, think of them more as a powerful duo. Boundaries and vulnerability go together like peanut butter and jelly, coffee and donuts, or flowers and bees.
If you're struggling with finding a way to be vulnerable, implement boundaries, or have a combination of the two, seeking additional support from a licensed and trained mental health provider may be exactly what you need.
A therapist will be able to work with you to better understand, acknowledge, and accept the feelings and thoughts you're having. Separately, they'll be able to help you find a good balance between being vulnerable and implementing as well as sticking to your boundaries.
Reach out today to set up a consultation for online therapy.
