How Codependency Affects Families
When it comes to relationships, are you more of a taker or a giver?
Do you have a tendency to apologize even when you know you’re right? Are you fearful of rejection or losing someone? Do you constantly feel the need to be reassured?
If you answered yes to a majority of the questions above, it could mean you may be codependent when it comes to relationships. The truth is, some of these codependent behaviors may have been learned from your own family.
Let’s learn more about how codependency affects families.
What Is Codependency?
First things first, what exactly is codependency? Codependency is when two people in a relationship are dependent or reliant on one another. This type of behavior can lead to unhealthy and dysfunctional patterns in a relationship.
These are some of the most common signs of codependency:
Difficulty trusting others
Ignoring your own needs or feelings
Lack of boundaries
Overworking
Perfectionism
Wanting to control or change people
How Codependency Affects Families
There are many factors that can play a role in becoming codependent. Codependency is most commonly seen when childhood trauma or addiction are present. That being said, there are several other factors within a family that can play a role in developing codependent behaviors.
Codependency is often a learned behavior. Parents will often learn certain behaviors from their parents or grandparents and pass them down to you, even if they had no intention of passing them on.
Avoiding or Minimizing
If you feel like your childhood was relatively normal, it could mean that it was exactly that or that you’ve minimized some traumatic events that happened during your childhood.
Generational Effects
Codependency is something that can be passed down between members of a family. For example, if a member of your family has a mental illness or a substance abuse problem, these actions and behaviors could have caused issues among other members of the family unintentionally.
How to Stop the Cycle
Even in codependency tends to run in your family, you can break the cycle. Codependency doesn’t have to continue with you, your children, or their children. Here are a few ways you can work towards stopping the cycle of codependency within your family.
Learn More
Take the time to learn more about codependency. Educating yourself can be a great way for you to share with other family members what’s been going on. You can also use it as a way to look out for and call out any signs or symptoms you’re noticing in yourself or other members of your family.
Practice Self-Care
Make sure you’re spending time going after your wants and needs. Everyone deserves self-care. You can’t expect to fill someone else’s cup if yours is completely empty. Show yourself some love.
In turn, the way you treat yourself will show other members of your family how important it is to love and care for yourself.
Don’t Be Afraid to Set Boundaries
Setting boundaries is one of the best ways to protect your overall health and wellness. Boundaries are what protect us in relationships by laying out how we expect to be treated. They also set them up for success to avoid any miscommunication in the future.
Seek Additional Support
You won’t have all the answers, nor should you be expected to. Reaching out for help is completely acceptable and even encouraged. The cause of your family trauma didn’t happen overnight. Neither will the recovery process. With the right amount of time and dedication, you can overcome the trauma and codependency in your family.
Reach out today if you’re interested in learning more about Codependency Therapy
